Those wild and crazy t-word “trolls” are preventing Troy Reid from effectively scamming all the cat ladies on the web!
And on that day, Troy Reid ascended the Mound of Garbage to earnestly entreat the Lord, for he had no dinar in his purse with which to feed his wife and child.
“I beseech thee Lord, for I need sustenance but I will not toil among the slaves, and my knee preventeth me from laboring in the homestead.”
And the Lord appeared unto Troy Reid and said, “take there a pallet of wood from among the multitude in your junkyard…no, not the blue ones you stole in the land of New York.” And Troy found himself a goodly piece, full of worm holes and covered in mouse droppings.
And the Lord instructed Troy Reid, “Inscribe upon the pallet all the words of your 1000-miles-per-hour brain, and I will pay unto thee one shekel per comment. Then distribute the pallets among the multitude to read, and I will further multiply thee one shekel for every view and comment from the people.”
And Troy was overjoyed and did grin from ear-to-ear, for he envisioned wealth beyond measure without doing honest sweat labor. And he called his wife Melanie, who came dragging their child in a bassinet of plastic. And Troy handed her the laser engraver and she did plug it into a wall socket, for they were not off-grid. And Troy instructed her to inscribe thereupon the pallet wood all the words of his fevered brain. And Troy did fold his hands to nap, for it was well with him.
And when word spread among the town, there arose a cry and all the people did mock Troy Reid. And one of the elders called out, “that was not the Lord, you fool! That was the town jester, dressed in white raiment with powder upon his beard!” And the multitude of the town pressed upon Troy Reid, and cried out as one, “GET A JOB, YOU BUM!”
But Troy repented not of his sloth and cried aloud, “leave me alone!” And the townspeople called upon the congregation of .sucks, who published all the filthy deeds of Troy Reid near and far upon the internet. And Troy was sore vexed, for there were none that believed him. And he did whine incessantly, even unto this day. Amen.